Babysitting the Brats
by Taliana-The-Vampire-831
Summary: ALL HUMAN! Kind of OOC. Emmett, Edward, Sophie and Tali need money, and what better way to get it by Babysitting? But it's not all that fun for the 4...the three children Team JSD are the definition of Devil Children. The children are making evil scheme
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Okay I was watching Back at the Barnyard (Which is weird for me…because I only ever watch Comedy Central…what the hell was my TV doing on Nickelodeon?) Anyways, and it was the episode where the five of them dress up and baby-sit that one crazy kid…(Never saw the movie….so Iunno who the darn kid was.) and I was thinking "what if that was Sophie, me, Emmett and Edward with 3 crazy kids like that?…Oh shit son!" and then well That's how this idea came about. OH and I also read something similar to this on…I forget who's thing, but I know the main story it was from was from the Crazy Cullen Chronicles so go read that on if you want a good laugh ;] NOTE: their last name is pronounced "Flah-veh-them-burger" And the four of us mispronounce it every time. Nuther note! Everyone's HUMAN! Just so we don't have any advantages over the kids…Like super speed, strength, and with Edward, no mind reading….shi—this is gonna be hard to write an Edward without the mind reading :/ okay so the family is split in two, Jasper, Alice and Rosalie are in the Hale family with some crazy non-Esme/Carlisle parents…and Emmett and Edward are Cullens with Carlisle 'n' Esme as parents. Just thought I'd let you know that. And Sophie and I are Emmett 'n' Edward's girlfriends. (Just thought I'd clarify that, because well the way I wrote this it makes it sound like we're just friends or siblings :/) Also Note: the kids are Triplets, and the boys look identical to each other, to the pont where we cannot tell the difference between them. They are 7…and crazy-smart. Probably smart enough to outsmart Emmett …Okay go ahead and read on to the story after the Disclaimer…NEVERMIND! Don't Go to Disclaimer yet! ONE MORE NOTE! Okay now that i've got your attention. Ignore the Br's....those are just page breaks so that when I copy and paste to my website it'll be easier for me to actually get the chapters up quicker...Just saying. NOW YOU MAY CONTINUE TO THE DISCLAIMER!

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Disclaimer: Don't own characters, cept for Jocelyn, Daniel and Samael Flavethemburger and well maybe some of the crazy schemes they use on us.

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Setting: Mid-Summer (just so you guys aren't all "Why are they skipping a week of school to baby-sit?")

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TPOV:

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The four of us, Emmett, Sophie, Edward and I, were at our neighbor's and lifetime friends, The Hales, house. It was Jasper's seventeenth birthday party. Jasper was drunk off his ass, as was Alice and Rosalie. Alice quickly suggested that they try out the Mechanical Bull that they rented for his party. Emmett got on, lasted about sixteen minutes before being thrown off. Jasper, poor, drunken Jasper…he didn't even last a minute before flying off and landing on top of Emmett, who was too lazy to move from where he landed. Alice did a repeat of what Jasper did, as did Rosalie. I was too afraid to get on that darn thing at first but Emmett forced it upon me so I went flying off after the first buck.

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"THAT WAS GREAT!" I shouted hopping up off the ground. Sophie did the same as I did, then Edward. We all returned to Edward and Emmett's house and plopped down on the couch. "Dude, we need to get a mechanical bull." I grinned.

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"Yeah!" everyone shouted, we all went to the computer to look up how much it would cost to actually buy one. "Holy Shitsicles!" We shouted as we saw that they cost $8,500. (I actually looked this up btw.)

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"Where are we going to get $8,500?" Emmett asked.

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Just then the boy's father's walked in, "Why do you need that much money?" He asked as he looked over his sons' shoulders to see what we were looking at. "Ah…why do you want a Mechanical Bull?"

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"Because it's fun." We said it as if it were an obvious fact.

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"Well, I'm not giving you the money for it…you're going to have to earn it." Carlisle said, "I think my boss is looking for someone to baby-sit for two weeks…and I think he's offering $609 per day…" he trailed off when the four of us gave him an odd look. "He's a multibillionaire…" He explained with a shrug of his shoulders. "I'll call him if you really want me to…"

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"YES! DO IT!" I shouted, doing the math in my head. "Two weeks of babysitting with $609 per day would get us $8,526!" Sophie and I started hopping up and down with excitement.

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Carlisle called his boss, and got us the job. "THANK YOU CARLISLE! WE LOVE YOU!" Sophie and I chorused and hugged him.

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Carlisle dropped us off at the Flavethemburger's gargantuan mansion. "Have fun…" he said and sped off in his Mercedes.

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The four of us walked into the mansion, "Nice place." Sophie and I said together.

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"Oh, you must be Carlisle's sons…and I'm assuming you're their friends?" Mr. Flavethemburger said.

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"Girlfriends." We said in unison.

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"Ah. Well don't have TOO much fun…we'll call every so often to check up on the kids…make yourself at home, just clean up any messes that you or the kids make and we'll be fine. The kids are upstairs if you want to go meet them, their bedtime is 9, they have to eat breakfast, lunch AND dinner, no skipping meals. No TV after 7, no videogames until they finish whatever meal they have in front of them, they are to be bathed at 8:30, and No going outside if it's raining or muddy." Mr. And Mrs. Flavethemburger said.

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"Sure thing Mr. Flave-them-burger!" Sophie and I said together.

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"It's Flah-veh-them-burger…" He muttered.

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"Sounds fair Mr. Flavet-hamburger." Emmett said.

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"Yeah okay Mr. Flay-veet-burgeer." Edward said with a grin.

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Mrs. and Mr. Flavethemburger sighed and walked out the door. The four of us went upstairs to go find the kids. "Hey there you three. Aren't you adorable!" Sophie and I said as we saw two boys that looked exactly alike and a girl who looked almost exactly alike except that she was a girl. They were sitting there, reading stories to each other

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"I'm Jocelyn, that's Samael, and that's Daniel." The girl said looking up from her book. She looked so cute and innocent. "What're your names?" She asked cutely.

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"I'm Tali, that's Sophie, and those two over there are Emmett and Edward." I said gesturing over to where Emmett and Edward were making fun of some crazy portrait on the wall, probably of one of the Flavethemburger's ancestors.

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**2nd A/N: **

**Tali: Yeah that was interesting. **

**Jasper: A Mechanical Bull? A drunken me? What the hell Tali...what...the...Hell!**

**Alice: You were probably cute when drunk...**

**Rosalie: What's the pont of this?**

**Tali: For the lulz. Obviously. **

**Edward: I'm scared...**

**Tali: You should be team JSD are Devil children. (JSD = the initials of the children.) **

**Sophie: This is going to be interesting...**

**Emmett: It sucks being human I can't use my superstrenght to scare them...**

**Edward: Yeah...I can't read their minds to tell us what they're up to! **

**Tali: Okay Review it lovies! Reviews are Fuel...although we will keep writing for our own amusement...and just wait to post them if we feel like holding things hostage. **

**Sophie: You know i'm going to review, I always do ;] **

**Tali: I appologise for the lenght it takes me to write these...I've been re-reading my Manga...and well...pretty pictures...xD (by My manga's i mean DeathNote, Absolute Boyfriend and Vampire Knight.) Over and Over....:3 I lurves them. Anyways Go review ;] Okay someone needs to give these readers some love. I nominate Edward. **

**Edward: -Sigh- Fine. -hugs readers- **


	2. Chapter 2

A/N Yeah, so if Tali can have a really long Authors note, SO CAN I!. Oh, and the boy she's talking about from BATB(back at the barnyard) is "Snotty Boy" or his real name "Eugene". I'm kind of obsessed with that show. Well a little over a week ago, I was in the car, and straight ahead was a SILVER Volvo, I was all "ZO MY GOD EDWARD CULLEN CAR" only in my head, cause even though my mom is obsessed with Twilight, just as much as I am, she'd still think I was crazy. xD And one more thing I'd like to share is that, today I had a total Marley, and Me moment! My mom and I had just got back from the store, and she's like "Put Liberty in my room, so we can keep the glass door open."(Cause we were getting groceries from the car. And my dog decided at that moment she'd CHARGE out of my room into the living room so I dove for her collar and was dragged to the ground. Anyways, onto the disclaimer....

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Disclaimer: Both Tali and I do NOT own Twilight, or its characters. We do in fact own team JDS(Jocelyn, Daniel, and Samael) and Tali and Sophie, and the story.

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Sophie POV:

"Guys!" I hissed at Emmett and Edward, "stop laughing at the poor woman in the photo and get over here!" I glared.

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This set them off to into an even greater fit of laughter. "T-t-that's a CHICK?!" Exclaimed Emmett pointing at the black and white photo of a woman with short hair, in a puffy white shirt.

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Tali hit Emmett and Edward upside the head with a book. "See what you two idiots did!" She exclaimed pointing at the Jocelyn, who's lips were now quivering as if they were holding back tears. Tali and I walked over towards her to comfort her, "Why don't you two go start dinner?" I suggested.

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"Bu-" Edward and Emmett tried to protest.

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"GO!" Tali scowled.

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They sulked off out of the room. "Are you going to be okay?" I asked in a cooing tone. Jocelyn looked up at me and smiled sweetly. I smiled back. The moment was broken when out of no where...

THE LITTLE BRAT bit my nose and ran off giggling.

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"W'the fuck was that!?" I yelled holding my nose, which was now bleeding. Tali burst out laughing, and I glared at her. "Shut. Up." I said my voice stern. She tried to suppress her laughter but couldn't help it. I looked around. "Where did Samael, and Daniel go?" I asked. Tali shrugged.

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"DINNER!" Called Edward from the kitchen. We both stood up, and walked into the kitchen.

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"What is that smell?" Tali and I both asked, fanning the air in front of our faces.

"Um...well.." I heard Edward start to say, him and Emmett both slowly walked out of the kitchen. Emmett was wearing a hot pink apron with yellow flowers on it. The apron was soaked with what looked like a mix of macaroni and cheese, and green beans. Edward had parts of a salad stuck in his hair, and a lobster hanging from his ear lobe.

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"Umm...question mark...." I said.

"You're one to talk. Your nose looks like a pig." Emmett said pointing at the bite marks. I kicked him in the kneecap as hard as my flip-flops would let me.

I winced and Emmett stood there like it was nothing.

"Why don't we just order Chinese?" Asked Edward.

"No cando buckaroo." Tali stated, flipping through the huge binder of notes/ to-do list and what not thingy maggigit Mr. and Mrs. Flavethemburger left for us.

"Bucka-?" Edward started but I cut him off.

"Rule #689: Children are not aloud to have take out food." Tali said.

"How many rules are in there?" I asked, as I hobbled over to the freezer for some ice to ease my toes pain.

"Urm...." Tali flipped towards the back of the book, "2501."

"How about I make burgers?" Offered Emmett

"Deal." We all said at once.

-10 minutes later-

The burgers were made and Emmett, Daniel, and I were sitting at the dinner table.

"Umm...where are Jocelyn, Tali, Edward, and Samael?" I asked looking aroung.

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Daniel snickered into his palm. All of a sudden we heard an explosion.

**A/N**

**Me: Okay so suspenseful*giggles manically.***

***Edward stares***

**Me:. . So which one of yous are gonna give teh readers some luvin'?**

**Emmett: OH! ME! PICK ME! PICKE ME! *Emmett wearing a flower suit starts jumping up and down***

**Edward: Umm...Emmett...why're you wearing a flower suit?**

**Emmett: 'Cause! I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts *dances seductively on Edward***

**Me: *Grabs Edward* MINE!**

**Emmett: *pouts***

**Me: Okay, so Emmett give the readers some lovvveee!=]**

**Emmett *hugs readers***

**Hope you enjoyed!**


	3. Chapter 3

'Nuther obnoxiously long A/N: Okay so I had no idea what to make Explode in this chapter…so I confronted Tay with it…She said something about Eyebrows…and Easybake ovens….*shudder.* SO yeah, I'm listening ot Musical music (as opposed to unmusical music…) To be specific Wicked and Hairspray. (Cue Tay to start singing.) :3 Anyways, I'm gonna go write the chappy now…

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Tpov:

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Edward and I followed Jocelyn and Samael to the other room after they finished eating. Just to make sure they didn't go biting off more people's noses and such. "So do you kiddies want to play a game?" Edward asked, baby talking the two.

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"No. we're not 4…don't address us like that." Samael said glaring up at Edward.

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Edward was frightened by the seven year old and cowered in fear behind me. I whispered "Edward…I'm five-one…you're six-two…how is someone who's shorter than you going to hide you?"

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"It just is! Now shut up!" He responded.

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"Would you guys mind helping me with my E-Z-Bake?" Jocelyn asked with the same sweet smile she had before she had bitten Sophie's nose.

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"Edward? Would you mind helping her with her E-Z-Bake?" I asked, pushing the cowering boy forward.

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"Oh No, no no no!" He said, and shoved me forward. "You do it. You're a woman. You cook."

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"Pardon?" I asked, and scanned the room for something to whack him with. 'Lampshade…Chair…spoon…other chair…other lampshade…Cat?' I thought. I grabbed the spoon and whacked him repeatedly. "That's what you get for making Sexist comments! So you two," I said pointing my weapon of choice at them. "Where'd the cat come from?"

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"Oh well, We have a bunch of pets, this is Lucifer, and we were going to make him dinner." Jocelyn said, holding up the black cat.

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"Lucifer…isn't that the name of the devil?" Edward whispered to me, I nodded. Jocelyn pulled out the E-Z-Bake oven, Edward walked over to her, and I went to try to find Holy Water to dump on the "devil cat". I returned without the holy water, but I did have a bottle of regular water for me to drink. "Jocelyn, for some reason this light bulb isn't cooking this thing…" Edward said and glanced into the square hole on the left side of the small oven.

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"Edward, I don't think you should…" I said quietly from the doorway. Just then the E-Z-Bake oven exploded…that's right, Exploded. It singed Edward's copper eyebrows right off and some of his bangs too.

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"Mee eyebrows! Mee Eyebrowss!!!" Edward shouted. I couldn't help laughing, Edward's expression was priceless and the fact that he said "Mee" instead of "my" made it ten times funnier. Apparently Daniel, Emmett and Sophie all figured they'd come to see what Jocelyn, Samael and I were all laughing about.

**2nd A/N: **

**Tali: Edward lost his eyebrows...**

**Edward: And some of my bangs...Oh and I would NEVER say "Mee" instead of "my." **

**Emmett: How the hell do we keep getting tortured by seven year olds? **

**Edward: Somehow I don't think that a mechanical bull is really worth all this trouble...**

**Tali & Sophie: Of course it is!**

**Sophie: ~Starts singing Hairspray music for some reason~**

**Tali: SQUEE! (manga word that I *heart*'s so much.)**

**Edward 'n' Emmett: I'm scared for what might happen next...next time it might not just be eyebrows being lost...-cowers in fear some more.-**

**Tali 'n' Sophie: Okay so we're not being cruel and holding chapters...but we Might start if we don't get reviews. -Evil laughter.- (that's a hint to go click that button down there that says "review") Okay time for hugs. Edward your up again.**

**Edward: -sighs again.- why? **

**Tali: Because, I feel the need to give my readers hugs from smexy (at the moment non-) Vampire boys. **

**Edward: Fine -Hugs readers- **

**Hope y'all enjoyed it :3**


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